I'm considered the friend who always has an odd, slightly comedic, slightly terrifying story to share about her life. "Yeah, so what if I almost drowned while wearing a mechanical mermaid tail at the age of 7?" (notice: that story will not be here). So, here's a collection of odd stories from my life
The song you hear is Crazy Life by Toad the Wet Sprocket, the namesake of this page. I love those guys!
After a day at the nail salon, my mom took me and my sister to our local Regal Cinema to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey. Regal occasionally plays older movies there, and I eat that shit UP. Anyways, in the theater, like not too long into the movie, the elderly couple sitting in front of us literally flipped me off. Oh okay, damn, I didn't know I was THAT annoying.
On our first trip down to Ocala, the night before we went home, we dropped my aunt off at her place and because it was dinnertime, she gave us directions to a local Chick-Fil-A. My dad took the directions, and she had failed to told us that this chick fil a was ACTUALLY located inside of her local shopping mall. Needless to say, I wasa PISSED because I couldn't go in, but in retrospect, maybe that was a good thing...
This is a story about how I turned my lonely virginness into a tool for entertainment in my freshman year.
My class was performing Football Romeo (a play about a high school's chaotic adaptation of Romeo and Juliet) and we each had to perform scenes. Being the virgin loner I am, I asked everyone who didn't already have a partner to be my partner. Turned down. ALL OF THEM. TURNED IT DOWN. Thankfully I was doing a two-person scene, so I got a brilliant idea...
I COULD USE MY PLUSHIE FOR THE ROLE OF MISS KAVENDISH! (the drama teacher)
One of the top 20 ideas I've ever had
When I was 14, I got into a car accident where a drunk cop rear-ended us while trying to get to the scene of a rolled-over SUV with children trapped inside. I suffered a mild case of serious brain damage and refused to go to the hospital. When i got home two hours later after a brief gas station stay, I went to bed and promptly fell into a 16 hour long coma where I met Jhonen Vasquez (the guy behind Invader Zim) at a mall in Chicago.
I used to go to a dentist in a Chicago suburb who used to put Invader Zim on when I was undergoing surgery. After a particularly grueling root canal, i was still doped up on nitrous on the way home and ended up hallucinating an entirely new episode of Invader Zim. All I remember was it was about hamsters
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