RETURN TO SWEET-FEVER

Portal Quotes. That's it. Go home.

Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center!

Portal's humor is what drew me to the game in the first place, so of course I would make a page of some of my favorite quotes from the game, in no particular order! If my sister is viewing this page, thank you. Thank you for creating this monster.

Portal One!

• The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance
• As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. After testing, you will be...missed
• At the Enrichment Center, we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity
• Despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
• I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.
• That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
• Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU!
• All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends...Because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny.
• I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in Five. Four--
• Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test
• [GLITCHING] fling yourself. [MORE GLITCHING] fling into space.
• Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true

Portal 2!

• Science has validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep. GladOS
• The first commercial flight was in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the whole time. Fact Core
• You might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. Wheatley
• When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton so future generations can learn from you how to not to have your bone structure. GladOS
• We both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. GladOS
• You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything Adventure Core
• At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch Fact Core
• You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire Adventure Core
• Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look! Space Core