WONDERFUL WORDS FROM MY WONDERFUL SCHOOL!
  • "Uhhh yeah, are we talking about George Washingmachine?" Me, second period math class
  • ME: I'm just a physical manifestation of the voices in your head.
    CLASSMATE: Okay, I'll just ignore you then.
    ME: NO, WAIT!
  • In other news, according to the yearbook, I AM a collective hallucination! Me on the last day of freshman year.
  • "My waitress saw I still had food on my plate and asked "Would you like a box for it?" And I was like "No, if you want it THAT badly, you can have it!"My wonderful math teacher
  • "Pollen is sentient and it hates you." My science teacher
  • "Smile like you're medicated!" Choir teacher.
  • 'I was at the bookstore and I wanted to find books on paranoia, and when I asked the lady working there, she said "They\'re behind you... The aforementioned math teacher. Get used to him
  • "If I had a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
    • My 8th grade graduation presentation.
Other...stuff
Most of this was blatantly stolen from this glorious website. What wasn't stolen can be viewed on said website.
  • "Did you know that adding zebra stripes to things makes it harder to hit with projectiles? So you can turn your graduation dress into psychological armor! Victor (YET TO BE FACTCHECKED)
  • Mankind is plagued by a desire to constantly over-water their plants.
  • Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?
  • If history is doomed to repeat itself, bring on the beheadings!
  • You need not worry yourself, as dogs do not possess a soul and are therefore damned to hell from birth
  • It's called adderall, not adder-take-them-all!
  • How can you be lactose intolerant if you live in the Milky Way?
  • I'm not completely useless, I could be used as a bad example.